Some people make it look effortless – walking into a room, starting conversations, making instant friends. For the rest of us, the thought of saying “hi” to a stranger feels like public speaking in slow motion.
You sit beside someone in class, share glances at a workshop, maybe even match vibes at an event… but the words never quite come out.
Starting conversations can feel intimidating – especially in a new country, on a new campus, where everything is unfamiliar.
But here’s the truth: talking is a skill – not a gift you’re either born with or not. And like any skill, it can be learned, practiced, and even enjoyed.
This post is for anyone who’s ever said, “I want to talk to people, I just don’t know how.”
Why It’s Hard (and Normal)
We often assume that conversation comes naturally to everyone else – that they must have some secret confidence we missed out on.
But the truth is, most people feel awkward too, especially in unfamiliar social settings like a new university or culture.
For international students, the challenges are layered – from accents and slang to different social norms and the fear of “saying the wrong thing.” For others, it’s overthinking, social anxiety, or just not knowing how to go beyond small talk.
And sometimes, the hardest part isn’t talking. It’s believing you’re worth talking to.
So let’s get this clear: struggling to start conversations doesn’t make you antisocial, boring, or weird. It makes you human. And it means you care enough to want connection – which is a strength, not a flaw.
Talking Is a Skill – Not a Personality Trait
Somewhere along the way, we started treating conversation like a talent – something only extroverts, performers, or “naturally social” people have. But the truth is, talking to people is a learnable skill, just like cooking, coding, or riding a bike.
And like any skill, it starts awkwardly. You fumble, repeat yourself, say things you wish you hadn’t – and that’s completely okay.
Good communicators aren’t fearless. They’ve just practiced more. They’ve learned how to read the room, when to listen, how to ask the right questions, and most importantly – how to recover from awkward moments without spiraling.
If you’ve ever told yourself “I’m just not good at talking to people,” flip the script:
You’re not bad at it. You’re just new to it.
Every great conversation you’ll ever have starts the same way – with a single word. Sometimes “hi” is enough.
Real Conversation Starters That Actually Work
Starting a conversation doesn’t need to be deep, witty, or impressive. It just needs to be real. Here are some easy ways to open a door without overthinking it:
- “Hey, have you done this assignment yet?”
- “I liked what you said during class. Mind if I ask you something about it?”
- “I’m new here – do you know if this café’s any good?”
- “Do you want to pair up for the next tutorial?”
- “I saw you at [event] – how was it for you?”
You don’t need a clever script – you need a moment of courage. Most people are so relieved someone spoke first that they won’t even notice if you stumble.
The best part? Once you use one of these openers, the next conversation gets easier. You’ve already broken the ice.
Let It Be Awkward – That’s How It Starts
Not every conversation will turn into a friendship. Some will be short. Some will feel weird. That’s okay.
Awkwardness isn’t a sign to stop – it’s a sign that you’re stepping out of your comfort zone. And every great connection has grown from that first slightly-messy exchange.
You don’t need to be perfect – you just need to be present. And a little bit brave.
Connection Starts With a Conversation
If this made you think “I wish I had someone I could just talk to without pressure,” – that’s exactly what Peermindful is for.
We’re not therapists. We’re students – just like you.
At Peermindful, we offer free, relaxed one-on-one chats where you can talk through anything: nerves, homesickness, awkward moments, or just how your week’s been.
So if you want to practice talking, build confidence, or just feel heard –
Book a peer consultation today: peermindful.com
Real support. Real people. Just a message away.